Roger Clemens Lying Under Oath?

Arrogant Clemens:
Just who does he think he is?
Lets all rat him out
by Jealous Players

The Roger Clemens story is getting very old and tiresome. Personally, I don't care one way or another whether he used HGH or steroids.. I mean, honestly, it doesn't change any of the games he pitched in my mind, it certainly doesn't change the feelings that his adoring fans felt during his most memorable games in his career. So just shut it Roger, either you've done some bad things to deserve "the world turning on you" or you just need to stop lying. For the love of god, just make it stop! Check out Rogers Wife though, I think she's using some HGH herself... That girl is BUILT.

California man sues veterans' hospital for removing wrong testicle

This man has a case.
Went to have cancer removed,
Now he has no balls.

Every mans worst nightmare is having his testicles removed, whether it's a subconscious fear of never being able to procreate again, or simply the fear of inevitable pain. Or it could be the intimate relationship men develope with their testicles over the years as they protect them from harm and pain.

Whichever the case, one man had to do without one of his testicles due to a growing cancer, hey, at least you still have another one right?? WRONG. Because little did he know, the doctors chopped off the wrong ball!! The man claims he thought it was a joke at first, I mean, that doesn't actually HAPPEN in real life right?! Well, my friends, apparently it does. Not only was his good ball cut out, but he is still walking around with a cancerous one for the time being. Poor fella.

This man may receive upwards of $200,000 in damages however, so the question is... How much are your balls worth?

You can check out the less entertaining version of the story here.

Hockey fans want fighting to remain in the game

Hockey fans are mad
League considers banning fights
Let's fight over it!!


For many, fighting is part of the game, injuries are part of the game. But with the recent rise in hockey injuries, especially concussions, the league is getting a tad nervous. Especially since the bad PR keeps piling up, the only way the NHL appears to get onto the US ESPN is when something bad happens.

The big brawl between Buffalo and Ottawa a while back actually sparked interest, that was a great fight, and that's the kind of thing that hockey fans love. I don't feel the game can be nearly as entertaining without fights spawned out of passion and emotion within the game. But with recent happenings like Jordin Tootoo and his gloved sucker punch on Atlanta's defenceman Stephane Robidas, who left the ice on a stretcher, it's getting harder and harder to make a solid case for fighting.

This is the kind of thing that makes the men in charge a little hot under the collar, but really, would banning fighting take this kind of thing out of the game? Probably not... It's hard to contain emotion in hockey, especially since aggression has been not only allowed, but an integral part of the game. Tonight I am going to watch the Leafs take on the Islanders, fighting for a final playoff spot. And I'm not going to lie, I hope I see a good old fashioned hockey scrap.

Anyways, you can check out the full story about the Fan poll here.

Eminem, Ex-Wife, Agree to Be Agreeable

Who is Eminem?
The guy who rapped some funnies!
Called a truce with wife.



Eminem is back in the news, and this time for a reason other than hearing one of his new mediocre rap groups that mentions his name in every one of their songs for some kind of hope of credibility. (It doesn't work, sorry) Never the less, Eminem and EX-wife Kim have come to an agreement not to insult each other over the media... This news is good on a number of fronts. Primarily for his daughter, who is now 11 and surely already scarred after hearing a song about Em stuffing his pregnant wife into a trunk and killing her, maybe I'm mixing up my Eminem ballads, screw it, it's not important. What IS important is that we will not have to endure another Eminem album because this guarentees that he will have no more content to write songs about, seeing as at least 4 songs on each album have a strong message either to Kim or obviously about Kim.

Let's all raise a glass and toast to the mental health of their 11-year old daughter Hailey.

Britney Spears Out of Rehab, Out on the Town in Fishnets

Brit seen in fishnets!
Could she be out and whoring?
Just in a dance class.

Click here for full story.
Britney is out on the town again, sporting brand new contact lenses. I'm not sure what to think about these... Obviously any of her natural appeal is gone, her brown wig looks plain and her fake blue contact lenses sparkle covering up the welling tears of what has turned into a turbulent life at such a young age. All that personal crap aside, what I want to know is how her contract stands... What does her record label do in these times?? Is this helping them at all? Surely they can profit somehow from this misfortune... nobody ever tries to step in when a pop star goes to shambles. So is she just washed up and dead to them OR do they get some kind of revenue from picture sales or what. Surely her movie or CD sales are not climbing with this fiasco. Maybe they are banking on the rights to her eventual best selling biography. Yeah, that's gotta be it.
These are the things that plague me... How are the intelligent people at her record label taking this massive problem and turning it into an asset.

Check out Brits new contacts here

Anna Nicole Smith Case: Stern Given Chance to Appeal DNA Results

Anna is long gone
But who will get her baby?
We should know next week!

Click here for the full story. The real question seems to be which greedy bastard (potential) father is going to get a heaping pile of cash! Or maybe I am just a cold hearted, soul less human being to come to that conclusion.... Yeah, that's probably it. I'm sure these guys have only the best interest in mind for the little baby girl.
Christ...I can't wait for the next act of this clown show to begin!! Bring it on Circus Circus, you can't hang with this!!

World's Fattest Man In Mexico

I just want to sing...
"Fat guy with a little wrist..."
Sing it with me now!

Click here for full coverage of this worlds fattest man and his quest to lose hundreds of pounds. For some reason, I really feel like using him as a crash pad. Or just bouncing on him or something..
Surely he has more cushioning than a traditional crash mat.
Safe back flips, here I come!