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Thursday 5 April 2007

California man sues veterans' hospital for removing wrong testicle


This man has a case.
Went to have cancer removed,

Now he has no balls.


Every mans worst nightmare is having his testicles removed, whether it's a subconscious fear of never being able to procreate again, or simply the fear of inevitable pain. Or it could be the intimate relationship men develope with their testicles over the years as they protect them from harm and pain.

Whichever the case, one man had to do without one of his testicles due to a growing cancer, hey, at least you still have another one right?? WRONG. Because little did he know, the doctors chopped off the wrong ball!! The man claims he thought it was a joke at first, I mean, that doesn't actually HAPPEN in real life right?! Well, my friends, apparently it does. Not only was his good ball cut out, but he is still walking around with a cancerous one for the time being. Poor fella.

This man may receive upwards of $200,000 in damages however, so the question is... How much are your balls worth?

You can check out the less entertaining version of the story here.

Hockey fans want fighting to remain in the game


Hockey fans are mad
League considers banning fights
Let's fight over it!!


For many, fighting is part of the game, injuries are part of the game. But with the recent rise in hockey injuries, especially concussions, the league is getting a tad nervous. Especially since the bad PR keeps piling up, the only way the NHL appears to get onto the US ESPN is when something bad happens.

The big brawl between Buffalo and Ottawa a while back actually sparked interest, that was a great fight, and that's the kind of thing that hockey fans love. I don't feel the game can be nearly as entertaining without fights spawned out of passion and emotion within the game. But with recent happenings like Jordin Tootoo and his gloved sucker punch on Atlanta's defenceman Stephane Robidas, who left the ice on a stretcher, it's getting harder and harder to make a solid case for fighting.

This is the kind of thing that makes the men in charge a little hot under the collar, but really, would banning fighting take this kind of thing out of the game? Probably not... It's hard to contain emotion in hockey, especially since aggression has been not only allowed, but an integral part of the game. Tonight I am going to watch the Leafs take on the Islanders, fighting for a final playoff spot. And I'm not going to lie, I hope I see a good old fashioned hockey scrap.

Anyways, you can check out the full story about the Fan poll here.

Monday 26 March 2007

Eminem, Ex-Wife, Agree to Be Agreeable


Who is Eminem?
The guy who rapped some funnies!
Called a truce with wife.



Eminem is back in the news, and this time for a reason other than hearing one of his new mediocre rap groups that mentions his name in every one of their songs for some kind of hope of credibility. (It doesn't work, sorry) Never the less, Eminem and EX-wife Kim have come to an agreement not to insult each other over the media... This news is good on a number of fronts. Primarily for his daughter, who is now 11 and surely already scarred after hearing a song about Em stuffing his pregnant wife into a trunk and killing her, maybe I'm mixing up my Eminem ballads, screw it, it's not important. What IS important is that we will not have to endure another Eminem album because this guarentees that he will have no more content to write songs about, seeing as at least 4 songs on each album have a strong message either to Kim or obviously about Kim.

Let's all raise a glass and toast to the mental health of their 11-year old daughter Hailey.

Sunday 25 March 2007

Britney Spears Out of Rehab, Out on the Town in Fishnets


Brit seen in fishnets!
Could she be out and whoring?
Just in a dance class.

Click here for full story.
Britney is out on the town again, sporting brand new contact lenses. I'm not sure what to think about these... Obviously any of her natural appeal is gone, her brown wig looks plain and her fake blue contact lenses sparkle covering up the welling tears of what has turned into a turbulent life at such a young age. All that personal crap aside, what I want to know is how her contract stands... What does her record label do in these times?? Is this helping them at all? Surely they can profit somehow from this misfortune... nobody ever tries to step in when a pop star goes to shambles. So is she just washed up and dead to them OR do they get some kind of revenue from picture sales or what. Surely her movie or CD sales are not climbing with this fiasco. Maybe they are banking on the rights to her eventual best selling biography. Yeah, that's gotta be it.
These are the things that plague me... How are the intelligent people at her record label taking this massive problem and turning it into an asset.

Check out Brits new contacts here

Saturday 24 March 2007

Anna Nicole Smith Case: Stern Given Chance to Appeal DNA Results


Anna is long gone
But who will get her baby?
We should know next week!

Click here for the full story. The real question seems to be which greedy bastard (potential) father is going to get a heaping pile of cash! Or maybe I am just a cold hearted, soul less human being to come to that conclusion.... Yeah, that's probably it. I'm sure these guys have only the best interest in mind for the little baby girl.
Christ...I can't wait for the next act of this clown show to begin!! Bring it on Circus Circus, you can't hang with this!!

World's Fattest Man In Mexico


I just want to sing...
"Fat guy with a little wrist..."
Sing it with me now!

Click here for full coverage of this worlds fattest man and his quest to lose hundreds of pounds. For some reason, I really feel like using him as a crash pad. Or just bouncing on him or something..
Surely he has more cushioning than a traditional crash mat.
Safe back flips, here I come!

Japan's Ando wins women's world skating title without quad, Meissner is fourth



Figure skating time!
Ando wins the gold medal.
Greeeaat... We want the quad!!!!


Full story here.

'Simulated sex' ruled not serious

Little girl dry humped
Step dad simulated sex
30 months in jail.

Full story at Canoe news, click here.

Thursday 22 March 2007

Nurse arrested for porn movie on a big wheel



What is going on!
I thought the big wheel was dull,
She sure spiced it up!

Click here for full story.

Man auctions permanent advertising tattoo on back of neck



This guy is crazy
Who sells ad space on their neck?
Just get some adsense!

Click here for story, or search 5657013788 ID on Ebay.

Wednesday 21 March 2007

They're hugely successful, but Nickelback and Hinder can't get any love from critics

We love to hate them
They sell millions of records
But are they just "lame"?

Find out here

World's smallest horse has tall order

Charitable horse
Standing at 17 inches,
Raising cash for kids!

Click here for full story

13-year-old girl is rotten sneakers queen

This girl's shoes smell bad
but she won lots of money,
and a stink award.

Read more here.

Chinese restaurants a nutritionist's nightmare

I guess this stuffs bad,
Has a lot of calories,
but it tastes so good!

Click here for more.

Delaying The Snip Could Be Very Healthful

You just had a kid,
When is best to cut the cord?
Some say you should wait.

Read more here!

Britney Spears Leaves Rehab

Rehab is over
Will K-fed win custody?
Only time will tell.

Full story here.

Tuesday 20 March 2007

Manny Ramirez auctions grill on eBay

Man-Ram's making deals
I guess he needs extra cash
5 grand for his grill.

Click here for full story.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END on Yahoo! Movies

Captain Jack is back
What will happen at World's End?
Find out in late May.

Click here to see the trailer!

Monday 19 March 2007

Astronomy affects the daily commute

Astronomy sucks
You'd best be watching your back,
It will mess you up!

Full Story here!

Microsoft Pays Businesses to Use Live Search

Microsoft needs help
It's trying to catch Google
Bill Gates is angry

Click here for Full Story

Spring chicken: Ten fast and fresh ways to spruce up the same old bird

Chicken is boring?
This girl has cool recipes.
Can they change your mind!?

Click here full story

PlayStation 3 is down 2-to-1 to Nintendo's Wii

PS3 was pimp
but it was too serious
Now it is Wii's bitch

Full Story here!

Sinus study: Antibiotics overprescribed

Antibiotics
That's a lot of syllables
Check out the story.

Click here for full story.

Playing Music Makes You Smart

New research confirms
Playing music makes you smart.
I don't play music......

Click here for full story.

Brainiacs Succeed in Mapping 248-Dimensional Object

Math problems are tough!
This one is the toughest yet
But these nerds solved it.

Click here for full story.

Afghan captive witnesss decaptiation

Kidnapped reporter
Saw man decapitated
Feared that he was next.

Click here for full story.

Sunday 18 March 2007

High-tech slots could transform gambling

Slots make so much cash
High-tech ones mean just one thing,
There goes my pay-check

Click here for full story

Wart's this Growing on My Genitals?

New STD found
This time it's the common wart!
Keep your condoms close.

Click here to for full story

Huge ice deposits found at south pole (Mars)

Water found on Mars
This can lead to just one thing,
Hockey night on Mars!

Click here for the full story

Teacher gets 10 years for sex with pupil

Teacher bangs student
The student was in grade six
I sure hope he passed

Click here for full story

Entertainment - Angelina Jolie Adoption update!

Jolie Adopts boy
Oh REALLY, that's a surprise!
He's from Vietnam.

Click here for the full story.

Politics - Bush looking to Veto!

Uh oh! Look out guys.
Bush wields the VETO hammer!
Is he going to strike??

Click here for the full story.